Just Pick Up The Socks Already!
As we go through the weekly grind and stress gets high and energy gets low, it’s those socks left on the floor that send some of us over the edge! You’ve asked your family a million times to pick up after themselves, put away their laundry, and pick up their darn socks!
But we are living in community with other sovereign beings. And not everyone has the same ideas or value things in the same hierarchy. Each one of us is playing our own first-person video game of life.
Think of a couple where one person likes things clean and organized, and the other person prefers to have a “lived-in” “carefree” space with a bit of knick-knacks and clutter around for good measure.
I mean sure, we don’t want food left in weird places, or dirty kitchens or bathrooms, but other than that, what makes one way more right than the other way?
Intermittently, we must ask ourselves, “Who made me king or queen of the universe?”
When one person becomes a drill sergeant, ordering their partner and kids around, nagging, and complaining incessantly, it’s no fun for anyone. Not enjoyable for the one doing the nagging, or the one being nagged at. You can spend years in misery focused on why no one is heeding your plea. Ugggh!
If you’ve asked a million times, and socks are still being left on the floor, ask yourself if the other family members care. (Does Samatha care? Does Jeremy care? Does Paul care?) If the answer is “No” and you are the only one in the family who cares, instead of getting all worked up, pick up the socks already and put them away because it makes YOU feel better.
This does not mean doing ALL THE WORK in the house because no one else wants to do it. You’d end up overworked and resentful.
But it is a good idea to check in with yourself.
Notice when you think there is only one way to do something and your way is the “right way”. Recognize that there are 100s of different ways, and your way is just your preference.
For other people, a different way may be their preference.
Who does it truly bother?
Is it worth bothering about?
What would you rather spend your time doing instead of feeling frustrated?
What can you do?
Here’s an example of what you can tell your family members that might get you a better result, “Even though I know this isn’t your thing, when I have a clean space I feel relaxed, happier, peaceful, and clear-headed -and all of that helps me be a better mom and partner! I was wondering if you’d be willing to do ________ to help me out?”
*You may still have to remind them a few times, but you might find that the energy around it changes, and they actually do help you out!