Podcast Episode 008 – Maybe Some People Aren’t Meant To Find Their Soulmate…
In this episode Keely, who enjoys a gypsy lifestyle of moving and traveling – expresses how challenging it has been to meet her life partner. She’s with someone who wants to stay put and the relationship doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, and yet, she is not quite ready to let it go. We released trapped emotions blocking her from finding her life partner, and Keely opens up to the idea that there maybe someone out there for her….or maybe even more than one someone.
Kevin: About / Work with Kevin
Kelli: About / Work with Kelli
Kelli Russell 0:03
Hello everybody, welcome to our episode today with Keeley on radical enlightenment. Today we’re going to talk about blockages that might come up and stand in the way of finding a partner life partner to share wonderful experiences with romance with love, and what has been like dating online, especially on lockdown during COVID times and Keely, why don’t you share with us a little bit about what your experience has been?
Well, I move around pretty frequently. So I think that
in each region, it’s it’s presented unique barriers. My recently moved to San Luis Obispo where it’s a smaller town.
So that in and of itself, the dating tools been
pretty small. Yeah. And my age as well makes a little bit trickier. I’m 40 now. Uh huh. I feel like the the clock is ticking louder and louder. Sadly, which do you wish to have children?
I actually already had two children that aren’t in my life. So that is probably a big part of what might feed into this problem. Where the where the kids what what was the circumstance there where they’re not in your life anymore. That was my biggest like, sad story and that
they live in Sacramento with their father. Okay. And I was married for six years. And it was a really unhappy marriage. And I was active duty military. Uh, huh. Thank you for serving by the way. Oh.
And he was a stay at home dad. So when we fought for custody feels like a role reversal. And he actually won.
There’s a lot of ugly,
ugly abuse, manipulation so that I support them financially. But over time,
the manipulation of not being able to see them got worse and worse.
Kelli Russell 2:28
Do you think it’s a potential in the future that you might be able to?
I don’t know. That’s a big question I’ve asked myself. I, I think it’s a no, I think the ship has sailed. But the idea of creating a child with someone you love is so.
Kelli Russell 2:49
So you’re so open to that idea.
A little a little bit, probably
Kelli Russell 2:55
5%. Yeah, I’m a strong believer that it’s never too late to regarding your children. I don’t know all the circumstances. But as long as there is breath in your lungs, I don’t believe that it’s too late. So there might be an opportunity in the future for a change. But today, let’s let’s focus on something else. So tell me, you’ve been Do you want to share what we talked about before we started with the relationship that you are in?
Oh, yeah. So I met someone in Flagstaff, Arizona, where I lived for almost three years. And he was married for 16 years when? Right before me got divorced the week I met him, so
Kelli Russell 3:52
Wow. Talk about timing.
So he just got out of a serious relationship was not ready to settle down. He had a little a daughter. That was nine at the time.
Kelli Russell 4:10
And how old is she now?
She is going to be 13 this year. Okay. She’s like sultry teenager now.
Kelli Russell 4:18
Yeah. Um, so strangely, and unexpectedly we worked but I like to, I’m kind of a gypsy and I like to move around and that is not his MO. So he kind of we accepted each other and our conditions and did well long distance when I moved to San Diego. Wearing that you
Kelli Russell 4:48
up Yeah, yeah.
And then he asked me to move back and move in with them and come back to Flagstaff and all the things I thought I wanted When I gave up my job in San Diego, he backpedaled so I was pissed. So does
Kelli Russell 5:08
that mean you move to Flagstaff and it didn’t work out or he changed his mind last minute.
He changed his mind last minute with moving in together. Okay, so I did is too late. I’ve already given my final notice. And then my new position and flag was starting. I got my own place. And we still dated, but that’s strange.
Kelli Russell 5:35
So did you move to Flagstaff, you just didn’t move into the same household. But you were in the same city? Yes. Okay. And you got a job there. And, and then what caused you to move to San Luis Obispo.
I think he went through. Well, I moved back home to Seattle for the last year. He lost. He was furloughed from his he was a geologist for USA. The last position. So that was a kick in the pants. And he had to buy a house. So like he was going through a lot of things, and our relationship was getting worse and worse. So I just, it’s time to go.
Kelli Russell 6:25
And so then you went to Portland?
Kelli Russell 6:30
Okay. And then what? What brought you to California? Back to California again?
Oh, I guess I had powder here. Nothing. It was just the weather and a good job offer that had nothing bad.
Kelli Russell 6:51
Yeah. So now you’re, you’re looking to date. But the pool there is? doesn’t include too many people. You’ve been dating online and what has that been? Like?
It has been a lot of weird, but like, I don’t even like a lot. Um, I met someone recently who kind of it’s been a good thing. We’ll see where it goes. Okay. That’s a positive. But there’s issues with that person as well. Okay. It’s a struggle.
Kelli Russell 7:33
Yeah. Tell me about the qualities that you’re really looking for.
Let’s put your
Kelli Russell 7:42
match for you would look like what this would be a person who might like to travel and also be a co gypsy with you. Right?
Kelli Russell 7:51
So travel travels important. What else? What else? Are you looking for?
Someone that’s active.
Kelli Russell 8:00
Someone that has time for a relationship.
Kelli Russell 8:05
I I feel like at this age, it’s kind of more commonplace to obviously find someone that has children and has it set career
Kelli Russell 8:19
and it’s hard
to juggle everyone’s I think that’s those are the three things travel after and want
Kelli Russell 8:32
relationship and wants a relationship? Yeah. And is it a monogamous relationship that you want?
That’s what’s tricky. So yes, I think so. But because of this partner and flag I’ve questioned polyamory and like reading a famous book sex at dawn. Just those No. Those questions come up like he you start to ask yourself, like, maybe how we were raised? Yeah, way to be
Kelli Russell 9:12
right when 50% of marriages end in divorce and then second marriages like 75% end in divorce, then it would cause a person to wonder do we make for life? Right? Right. Exactly. And and is there a more natural way that would allow more fulfillment and happiness for more people? Right. And I personally think that every possibility exists and it’s the the thing that is important is for two people to come together that are like minded. You know, both of you are interested in polyamory are both of you’re interested in monogamy or however, your sexuality looks that you’re just finding others that are in agreement with that. And that’s the important thing. Yes, yeah. And if it’s a newer concept or theory for you to put into action, then it would have to be something that you explore. And then either you’ll decide, wow, I really enjoy this lifestyle and this way of being or you might decide, wow, I thought I might like this, but no way. Yeah, yeah. So you’re definitely open your own sounds like you would be open to either?
I think so like the idea of polyamory, theoretically, sound healing, and a lot of ways, but what how do you cut off the feelings of jealousy or worry that they’re gonna fall in love with someone else? Or all those negative issues?
Kelli Russell 10:47
Kelli Russell 10:51
Well, I think that we’re looking for a good fit, and we’re looking for a match. And a lot of times people get stuck, because they’ll find a wonderful person. And they try to make it work. Like, oh, this is a great human being, I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity with this great person, or I don’t want to lose this person. However, they realize it’s just simply not a good fit. But they just keep pushing and just trying to force it and that doesn’t ever seem to work. So it’s more like finding first, yeah, do we have chemistry? And then does it seem like a good match a good fit, things are aligning in a way that feel mostly useful and enjoyable. And on some level, our values morals and ethics lineup, whatever they may be, they’re just, they either complimentary or similar. Right. And then if if you really, truly adore this person, if this person then fell out of love with you, and set their eyes upon a new love, like, let’s say you are with somebody, and you decided to be monogamous for three years or something. And then this person, somehow their heart wasn’t in it anymore. And they were introduced to another human being that they fell for head over heels that they’re just, you know, crazy about. At that point, if I care about that person, I would want them to go ahead and let me go. Because lying to me doesn’t help me. stringing me along doesn’t help me. Trying to push and force it to work doesn’t help me. Because we both deserve to have a beautiful, romantic, incredible relationship. So if one partner falls out of love, I think if we truly love that person, it’s it’s not a jealousy, it’s just like, I want you to experience love I, and I do too. And I deserve that too. So if it’s not with me, then thank you for letting me know and releasing me. Because now I can find that in my life. And thank you for not stringing me along or lying to me, you know? Now, if it’s like the polyamory where there are other people coming into play, yeah, that’s you, you got to keep yourself in check. Like there’s not jealousy. It’s like, there’s so much beauty in the world. There’s so much love to be offered, that’s exponential. And this person is amazing, and beautiful, and sexy and smart. And so am I. And there’s uniqueness, right you are you are a fractal of source, you are unique in every single way. That’s your birthright, you are worthy. And there’s nothing that you would have to do that special to obtain or keep that worth. It’s just because you are who you are, at your core, not your energetic core that has nothing to do with your life experiences or things that you’ve achieved in life. It’s just who you are at your energetic core. That is what’s worthy. That’s the That’s all Yeah, so in that polyamory is just recognizing the unique beauty of one another. There’s nothing to be jealous of it’s admiration of our unique beauty and should we come together? Great, and if it’s not a good fit, then thank you for letting me know. You know, and then it seems to become a lot more useful a lot more useful. I know in conversation it’s so much easier than when your hearts entangled and then it feels like a knife is squishing you know, destroying your innards like that. I’ve had some deep heartache and heartbreak and devastation in my life. So I do know what that feels like. And sometimes it feels like something you can never come back from. But we, in order to be successful in love and to remain open hearted and vulnerable, like we’ve got to be a love warrior, we’ve got to put down our, our sword and our shield, and have open arms open chest and say, Yeah, I got crushed, my heart was stomped upon and, you know, torn into a million pieces, but I don’t wish to close myself off from the world and from others, therefore, I will remain open hearted. And I’ll risk it all again. Time and time again. That’s pure bravery that is really strong. Like a love warrior. Alright, so what I what I’m going to do is see if there are any trapped emotions that are blocking you from finding this dream partner, that would be a beautiful fit and your match. And it could be somebody who’s open to more than one person in your lives. And maybe it will be more monogamous. But it sounds like there’s a little flexibility there.
Right? So I’m going to link up to you energetically. And I always ask our higher selves, if that is safe and appropriate. And if I ever receive a no, then we just don’t move forward with that. So give me about 30 seconds while I set that up.
Okay, good. I got the approval on both sides. Now I can receive your energy signal and I can ask questions. I’m muscle testing myself, and I’m looking for either a strong response or a weak response, the strong response we can take to mean true. Correct. That’s life Affirmative. And a weak response means no false. That is limiting. In this way, I’m able to ask binary questions. And we’re using Emotion Code therapy, which was developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson, I think by now it’s been over 30 years, he’s had this this method out. And it’s just a mode of inquiry using energy healing and muscle testing. So I’ll ask the question, is there a trapped emotion that’s blocking you from finding this partner? And I received a yes, I have rows and columns now. So I asked, Is this emotion in column A, I received a yes. Is it in an odd row? I got a No. Is it in row two? I got a yes. Now I have it narrowed down to five emotions. So I’ll determine which one it is. The emotion is worry. And it could be something from the past and it could be something going on presently. So I asked, do we need to know more about this in order to clear it? I received a yes. So I’ll divide your age in half. And I asked Is it something that happened before you were 20? I got a yes. And then I divide that in half. Is that something that happened before you were 10? I got a Yes. Something that happened before you were five I got a no. Now we know it’s between five and 10. So I’ll just go 5,6,7,8,9 ,10. And I’ll determine what the age was at five. That’s a no. Six is no seven is a no eight is a yes. So something happened at age eight. This is your own emotion rather than absorbing it from somebody else in your family. This is yours. And something that was going on at home so it was going on at school. So there’s something going on at home. The school situation tested weak. The home situation tested strong. Somebody between you and mom tested strong and you and dad tested strong. And do you have any siblings?
I don’t. Okay,
Kelli Russell 19:12
so what was going on around age eight, anything you can think of?
There’s only one thing I can think of, and I was sexually molested by a female cousin. And I think that’s when my mom finally discovered I mean it was roughly about them because I’m not for sure. Like found her doing it. Okay. And then the preparations like started having to move to Washington State.
Kelli Russell 19:50
Let me see do we need to know more about this in order to clear it? I gotta Yes, we still need to determine more. Are we on the right track? I gotta Yes. Okay. The worry is your own. Okay, so speak to why you? And you might have to guess because this was so long ago, you might not remember, we might have to guess why eight-year-old, you would have been worried? Were you worried that you’re being hurt? Were you worried that this is going to be a court case? Were you worried? Because you felt ashamed? Tell me a little bit more about why you would have felt worried?
Oh, they might be shame. She was like my idol, I think, about 10 years, 12 years older than me. So she was like a friend that I play with. So maybe the worry that that would go away? I really don’t think it. I haven’t carried that with me. It’s not something I blame my feelings on.
Kelli Russell 20:56
Yeah, when this with the Emotion Code, what it is, is like, there was a time in your life where you’re feeling this emotion so overwhelmingly, that instead of processing it and letting it go, it becomes stuck energy in your system. Sometimes we repress feelings, sometimes we consciously suppress them. Sometimes, like, for example, imagine if you were going through a really challenging time, and then you had to go to work. You’re like, I don’t have time for this right now. I’ve got to work. So you shove the emotion down, you know. So there, there are times where we just don’t want to see it, or we hide things from ourselves or our subconscious mind. tries to help us by suppressing things. So, to you grown up, Keeley, you’re like, Oh, no big deal. That’s not really an issue. But to age eight, Keeley there was a moment in time where you felt this emotion overwhelmingly. And so it just becomes a little blockage. And when I read the definition of worry, it’s dwelling on difficulty or troubles, unease or anxiety about a situation or a person, extreme concern over potential problems or concern about a loved one and possible distress. So those kind of sound congruent with what might have been going on there. What What was it that your parents wanted to do when they found out?
It wasn’t really strangely talked about, and I was young enough. I, I swear, I think I was like, 567 When my mom first found her, yeah. She didn’t divulge until I was like, well into my 30s that she literally did not think I remembered any of it. First off. And then secondly, like we didn’t talk about it wasn’t talked about. And she told me later on. That’s a big, like, reason why we moved.
Kelli Russell 23:05
Okay. And when, how old were you when you moved?
And so interesting.
Kelli Russell 23:15
I moved at 10. Yeah, why would that be the reason when it was so many years later?
Kelli Russell 23:25
Maybe we’re missing part of the story. Let me see. Do we still need to know more about this in order to clear it and I received a no. So we know enough about it generally, in order to release that stuck energy. So I’m releasing it through the governing meridian, which in Chinese medicine is a line that goes from your nose up to the crown of your head down the back of your neck down your spine Dr. Bradley Nelson says these emotions are like the size of an orange or grapefruit and we can even identify where you hold these in your body. Sometimes when we identify it a person says oh my gosh, I’ve always had pain there. That’s so interesting. In this case, we didn’t need to know more about it so now I released it and I’ll double check is this trapped emotion worry now clear? I got a yes. And now we just keep going. It’s like layers of an onion. Is there another trapped emotion that’s blocking you from finding your partner that we can clear? I got a yes. It’s in column A I got a yes. Row is a no row two as a yes. Number one is a no to three. A feeling of disgust and do we need to know more about this declare it I got a yes. Was it before you’re 20? Yes. Before 10 is a no before 15 is no. Teen at 16 This one is age 16. Okay, and is this your own emotion? Yes. Is it felt towards yourself? Yes. Is it felt towards others? No. It is felt towards yourself. Do we need to know more than that? Yes. Something going on at school? No something at home? No, just a general feeling. Tell me Tell me a little bit about why you would have been feeling that way at age 16.
I don’t know as long as I remember knowing myself, it’s I’ve always been disgusted with my face. So my outer appearance, or my intelligence, a lot of issues like that.
Kelli Russell 25:37
No, know, our listeners can’t see your face. But I’ve seen it and it’s a beautiful face. So we’re, where did you get this idea?
I don’t know. It’s been there as long as I can remember. Like, truly?
Kelli Russell 25:55
Do you remember ever having a family member that said something mean? Or a kid in school? It said something mean, and then you started believing it? Why? Because most children don’t just pop out believing that.
Hey, of course I’d like singled out events where a family member in that way or it’s at school. But you know, I think I had a strong enough bond with my mom that would have helped me work those things out. I don’t know
Kelli Russell 26:26
sometimes those things stick. I remember certain comments that people have said when I was a teenager that stuck with me. I think when you have those heightened experiences they stick out. Even if you have 100 positive things, one person can say one thing as a slight and it can be like an arrow to the heart. Right? Yeah. So let’s see, do we need to know more about this disgust in order to clear it and I received a no which means we’ve identified enough and we can release that now. So we’re not releasing all of it in your whole life. We’re just releasing that moment in time when you were 16 Where you were feeling it overwhelmingly. And it didn’t quite process through became stuck. Okay, is this discuss now clear and I got a yes. Is there another trapped emotion we can clear I got a no but I have different types that I need to check for. So the next one that we look for is called the hidden emotion and this is one that you hide from yourself. You don’t want to look at. Is there a hidden emotion that’s blocking you from finding a partner? Yes. Column A test week. So we know it’s column B, is it an odd row? Yes. Row one is no row three is yes. emotion, a feeling of defensiveness. This is a hidden emotion. Do we need to know more about this? Declare it. I got a yes. Before 20 I got to know before. 30? No before 35? No. So this is more recent 3536 This one is 36 has to do with your romantic life. Let me just the obvious thing would be this person that you were talking about that you still have kind of a lingering relationship with, right? So I’ll just check is that person actually got to know. Okay, so tell me about age 36 Something going on your feet? Let me see. It’s your own emotion. Yes, you are feeling defensive. It’s not with that particular person. We were talking about what else was going on?
I brought the partner that I was with at the time to Flagstaff with me from Seattle. Okay. And I’d say that that was a huge heartbreak. So maybe defensiveness, I don’t know, like gut reactions or like, defensive towards what I thought would be good. I’m not sure.
Kelli Russell 29:14
But ultimately, it’s a state of resisting attack or, or protecting oneself being sensitive to the threat or criticism or injury to one’s ego. Being on guard against real or imagined threats to one’s person, whether physical or emotional. Okay, what what’s ringing true, they’re like, what, what out of that? Were you like yep, I can see why I might have been feeling that at age 36. But you are wanting to not really look at that either. You’re like, nope, push that down. I don’t want to see it.
I feel like it was an intense time because I really, really fell for that person and he did not so I was defensive towards I don’t even know if that’s the right word, but like I wanted to take him to Flagstaff with me ultimately ruined us. And it was intense. But
Kelli Russell 30:14
well, when this partner was letting you know that it wasn’t going to work out and they wanted to say goodbye was what? How old were you?
I was there, because we moved there when I was 36, 37. I was still 36 as it was going to share. Okay,
Kelli Russell 30:37
so maybe, maybe it’s like when things started to go to shit, that’s when there’s like a need to protect yourself from a perceived threat. And the perceived threat could just be the end of the relationship where you’re like, No, this isn’t happening. We’re not doing this.
Right. I think we didn’t approach it very materially, for sure. Okay.
Kelli Russell 31:00
Let me check. Are we on the right track? Yes. Do we need to know more than that to clear it? No. Okay, we can release that emotion
okay, this trapped emotion is no clearer. Yes, is there another hidden emotion that we can release, it’s blocking you from finding your partner I got to know is there there’s one called a compound emotion where more than one emotion gets stuck at the same time. For example, if I witnessed a car crash, I might have the emotion shock and horror combined together. So I’ll see if we have any of those. Is there a compound emotion blocking you from finding a partner? I got to know is there and emotional resonance. This is like your whole body is ringing like a bell as if you’re struck. Like a symbol, your whole body vibrating. Is there an emotional resonance that is blocking you from finding your partner? Got to know is there an in utero emotion that we can release is blocking you from finding your partner? Strangely, I got a yes. So this is when you were in your mother’s stomach. Was it in column A no column B to number one. There’s a feeling of failure since your mom this was actually your mom’s emotion. Okay. And was it first trimester? Yes. So this one’s first trimester.
And you do you know any of the circumstances around your mom finding out she’s pregnant?
The only thing I know is she had had three miscarriages before me and I was her last. Okay, last go. And I made it. So maybe that I’m not sure. Um, how.
Kelli Russell 33:10
How far along was she until she realized she was pregnant? Do you know she was like testing all the time? Or? I wonder
she’s really good at being meticulous. So I
Kelli Russell 33:24
saw she was probably well aware of like, every week she was going to do a test or something like that to see.
I would imagine her being that way, but I’m not sure.
Kelli Russell 33:35
I wonder if it’s kind of like worst case scenario. Like in her mind she’s telling herself all this is probably going to fail to all the other ones have I shouldn’t get my hopes up type of thing. Right? Maybe something like that. Does she have any scare with you? Where maybe she thought she would lose the pregnancy but then actually it didn’t happen.
Now that she told me no. Yeah. Under
Kelli Russell 34:09
Okay, are we on the right track with this? Do we need to know more to release it? We do need to know more about this. What was going on in her relationship? When you were first trimester in her tummy?
Um, well, her and my father are still together. He was long-distance truck driving.
Kelli Russell 34:33
So long-distance, but they were together then and they stayed together all that time. They did. Did they fight during that time? Do you know?
They could have. Not that she’s divulged
Kelli Russell 34:48
that tested week. Yeah, I tested that. That was like a No. Something going on with her family of origin. No. No other children. So let’s see something going on with her work. No, her personal life no spiritual life No. Finances No. Ah, abilities to be a mom that tested strong. And that was kind of a weird thing to pop into my mind. That’s usually not my mode of questioning. Okay, but maybe questioning her ability to be a good mom or maybe even to carry the baby to term… to carry you.
that I could see or worrying about. Yeah.
Kelli Russell 35:48
Because what popped into my mind was ability to be a mom. Alright, do we need to know more about that to clear it then I got a no. So I think that was an important little chunk there. Okay, we’re going to release Yeah, I got chills on my body. Sometimes I call those truth bumps. After we’ve done my down my arms down my legs. Okay. Is this failure now clear? Yes. Is there another in utero emotion that is blocking you from finding a partner? No. Now I’m going to look for ancestral stuff that we get passed down from generationally from our family. Is there? Yeah. Is there an ancestral emotion that is blocking you for finding a partner that I got a Yes. And what’s cool about ancestral is we get to release it from the entire line. So are your both parents alive? Still, they’re still together, so I’m assuming they’re still alive. Okay, so this ancestral emotion in column A, yes. Audra No. To one as a feeling of ancestral anxiety. This is on your mother’s side. And this goes back more than five generations that tested week more than three that tested week more than two tested weak. So this is from your mom, grandparent. Yeah, this comes from your mom. So what’s cool is we get to release it from your mom and you do we need to know more about that and I got to know that’s good because then we don’t have to guess. Okay, so we can release that trapped emotion
right as this trapped emotion ancestral anxiety now clear I got a yes. Is there another ancestral emotion blocking you from finding a partner? I got a no. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.
It was there.
Kelli Russell 37:55
I was like, let’s go I’m ready. So sometimes that’s what your body is willing to process at that time. That’s all that there is. So one more thing to ask is there a preconception emotion that is blocking you from connecting with your partner? I got a yes. Column A is a no column B is yes odd row No, two no row fours Yes. A feeling of frustration and I can release that now yes is this emotion of frustration now really st Yes. Is there another preconception emotion that we can clear that’s blocking you from finding a partner yes. failure Okay, do we need to know more? No Okay, is this emotional clear? Yes. Is there another preconception emotion that is keeping you from finding a partner? Yes. Forlorn. Forlorn means miserable, sad and lonely by reason of abandonment desolate or emptiness hopeless and forsaken? Okay, do we need to know more about this? I got a no.
Kelli Russell 40:28
is there another preconception emotion that’s blocking you from finding your partner? I got a no. Now I’m going to just kind of go back and double check all of those to see if something else has been revealed. Is there a regular plain old emotion that’s blocking you from finding your partner? no, a hidden emotion that’s blocking you that we can clear? No. Is there a compound emotion that’s blocking you that we can clear? No. Is there an emotional resonance? That vibration that we can clear? It’s blocking you from finding a partner? No. Is there an in utero emotion we can release for that purpose? No, an ancestral emotion that we can release? No. Okay, so we’re at the stage where either that’s all there is, or that’s all your body is willing to release at this time. No, that’s it. That’s all I can process right now. Okay, so that’s great. Are there certain websites that you’re on that I can check? Like how much you’re aligned with one over the other on a scale from one to 100? That might be interesting to check out.
What do you mean?
Kelli Russell 41:42
Like, like, let’s say you’re on three different dating sites, we can see we can see which one you’re most aligned with. It would just be interesting to uncover that.
Kelli Russell 41:53
So which ones are you on?
Um, I’m actually not on any right now. Oh, okay. Strangely, because I’m giving this one person a shot. Okay. But I tried I think Bumble, Tinder. Okay. And oh, God. What else is there? There’s like even Facebook dating. Wow. It’s all the same people.
Kelli Russell 42:31
okay, let me try those. Because even though that you’re not on them right now, we can just see how much you align with or resonate with each of those. So for the type of partner that you are looking for the relationship that you wish to attract. You are more than 50% aligned with Bumble that’s a yes more than 70 is Yes, more than 80 is a yes, more than 90 is a no 80 More than 85 is a no. So 8081 8280 to 82% and Tinder for all those same reasons that I like laid out. You’re most aligned with Tinder over 50%? No, or 30? is a no over 20 is a no over 10 is yes over 15 is no 1011 11% Let’s try Facebook. So Facebook dating. You’re aligned with finding your partner they’re over? 50 That’s a yes. Over 70 is a yes over 90 is a yes over 95 is a yes 697 That’s testing at 97 That’s just Yeah. Any others? You want me to check? Like maybe there’s one you were thinking about trying?
Match? I guess Okay, I’ll
Kelli Russell 43:51
try that one. All right alive aligning with finding your partner on match. Over 50 that test strong over 70 Yes. Over 80 is no over 75 is no 7071 So we’re at 71 for that one. Okay, so your highest Facebook, then bumbled and match. Okay. Um, have you reached out to any friends and family members to say that you might be open to looking
I haven’t I when? I guess I’m pretty much a hermit. So I don’t know anyone here first off to reach out. But coworkers Yeah. though. No, I don’t. I never feel like it’s appropriate. Or where I know women, you know, to put that out.
Kelli Russell 44:52
Well, aside from online dating, I think. I think kind of putting your feelers out there first. You have to decide, are you ready, and you’ve given a good solid shot to this current person that you’re with. And make sure that you are open to a new relationship. And then once you’re sure you’re open to it, you’re like, Now this time I’m ready, then I think it’s good to tell people, because you’re setting out your intention in the world. And you’re reaching out to people in your sphere, and you’re saying, Hey, I’m looking for a partner in life, I’m ready. The time is, right. And these are the qualities that I’m looking for. I’m looking for somebody who likes to travel, someone who’s active, and somebody who wants to invest time in a relationship. And then say, if you know, if anybody, or even if it’s a friend of a friend or something, I would be open to meeting the person, let me know. And feel free to give them my phone number, you know, that type of thing. Because you never know, it might be like a friend of a friend or somebody that’s in someone’s family. And they’re like, oh, my gosh, I have the perfect person in mind for you. She’s amazing. You got to meet her. Sometimes interesting things happen that way. Okay. So right about it. Yeah, it might behoove you to do it. It’s kind of like just setting your intention out verbally in the universe and saying, Hey, universe, I’m ready. You could also do that in a meditation, you sit down and close your eyes. And, you know, make sure that you are indeed ready. And when you feel ready, you’re, you’re almost Sending out a message like a beacon or a signal, and you’re saying, okay, universe, please send me those that I’m most aligned with in partnership. Or if you just want it to be one person, please send me the partner, that we will provide each other the most happiness in life, and we’d be a good fit for one another, please make this person known to me. So that you’re really putting that intention in the world.
Kelli Russell 47:05
Yeah. Is there anything else? Maybe we should ask your system? If you’re ready, or what percentage you’re ready, what percentage you wish to stay with this? Previous person? What do you want to know? If you were if you were able to ask your innermost self a question?
I think it’s not if I’m ready, it’s just the biggest question I’ve been thinking about recently is, perhaps, and it’s a sad statement, but that in our lifetimes, it might be possible that not everyone gets their twin flame or their partner, or there’s not infinite chances. And all those things.
Kelli Russell 47:51
I think in the spectrum, it’s unlikely that that will happen. It’s a possibility in because infinite possibilities must abound. So it is a small percentage where it just maybe you would go a lifetime without finding your match, but it’s much more likely that you will. But if you have a belief system that says yeah, I’m probably not going to it’s not in the cards for me. Not only are you telling your system that, but you are sending out a broadcast signal to others about that, too.
Yeah, projecting. Right.
Kelli Russell 48:31
There’s a Dr. Bruce Lipton, who talks about the biology of belief, and that our perception of our environment can either turn on or turn off gene expressions. So simply our belief about something can change the way a gene is expressed. It’s important, so why not feed your system, the best quality information where you’re like, I know there’s a wonderful match in the world. For me, we’re finding each other now. I’m connecting to these potential partners who are wonderful and smart and inspiring and beautiful and kind and all those great things that you want as well. And I know that there are multiple people in the world for me that I would be happy with, like, I could be happy with this one, or I could be happy with that one. Or I could be happy with this one. Like, my grandmother is a great example of this. She got married and had five children, but he was an alcoholic. And they split up and she ended up being a single mom raising five kids. And then she partnered up with a man who was very nice, and they were together for many years, I think a few decades, and then he passed away. And now she is 93 years old and My grandma has a boyfriend. That’s awesome. And she lives in a small town in Winthrop, Washington.
Oh, she’s an Aha.
Kelli Russell 50:10
So she found a boyfriend in a small town and she is 93. So I was like, you know, I know it exists.
Kelli Russell 50:20
Right? I know. And when we think of those in our past… our aunts and uncles growing up, they were like elderly people, and you look at people now in their 40s and 50s. You’re like, oh, my gosh, you’re just getting started. You’re just getting going. And we’re in the best shape where the healthier is, it’s amazing what we can do. Your life isn’t even halfway there girl
Kelli Russell 50:58
You’re like, what am I going to do for the next 50 years? Better find a partner in crime to enjoy some time with, basically. So let me check how much you are in alignment with finding someone new, over 50%? Over 70? Over 80? Over 90. Yeah, you’re like 100% aligned with finding someone new? Cool. And I don’t think it necessarily means you have to end the friendship with the person that you’re currently with. How do you feel about that?
I think the only negative effect that has on me anymore is feeling a little bit slimy, about nothing. That I’m dating other people.
Kelli Russell 51:51
What about being open about that,
then I know for sure that I I brought it up in conversation and he just shuts it down. So I know, I know that’ll be the nail that seals the coffin.
Kelli Russell 52:05
So it’s not an option. There are some different outlooks here because some people believe that you need to make space for this new person to come in. As I’ve even heard people go as far as creating a parking spot. Like let’s say you had enough space for two cars. But if you’re only a solo person, you just kind of pull in the middle. But the suggestion is to pull to one side or the other, you’re making way for your partner to come in, even in your closet, like opening up space and half of the closet and half of the drawers for your partner to come in. Things like that. Isn’t that interesting? Because you’re really committing to this idea that somebody is coming in, who’s gonna fit right into that spot. And the time is present, you know?
If you haven’t let go of one other person, right?
Kelli Russell 53:14
Would it be more comfortable to hang on to this relationship until there’s a new possibility? Or do you think it would serve your best and highest good to release this relationship?
Are you asking me or feeling it?
Kelli Russell 53:29
I want to ask your conscious. So yeah, I’m asking you
I struggle with, I’m kind of right there in the middle where I see the benefits of keeping someone in my life. So I know them like they know me. So that’s special. And to like, let that goal is hard. But that’s not like you said in the very beginning of this that’s not kind to them. Or to or to the next person I’m looking for. So yeah, the right answer is probably let them go. Doesn’t mean that’s what I want to do.
Kelli Russell 54:16
Do you have other support outlets in your life? If you were to let this person go? Do you have other people that you could text or call or reach out to if you’re having a rough day?
Yeah, I have two other people in my life that I probably could talk that has known about this relationship and just kind of I roll about it at this point. Yeah. But
Kelli Russell 54:43
it doesn’t even need to be like that. It can just be like because this person provides something for you, which is why you’ve kept it going. Even though it’s not what you want. It’s like a support network, right? Because you know each other because you can talk to one another. It does something for you. So if if you didn’t have that I’d want you to have a backup. So yeah, wouldn’t have to be somebody that knows about it and kind of eye rolls but just like, if I didn’t have this person, who else could I be reaching out to? Do you have people like that? Like, even just to kind of like shoot the shit that day like, Oh, hey, what’s up? What are you up to? What’s going on?
Oh, yeah, like acquaintance shoot the shit, but not tons of close friends. Family. I have one that I could. Okay. Yeah.
Kelli Russell 55:43
And if you feel sad or angry or stressed or depressed, do you have tools that you can utilize that help you? Like, exercise or meditation or yoga or anything like that? Do you have good a good toolbox?
Yes. Solid. Yes. That’s a big part of life is using exercise to control not to control to release? Keep stable? Yeah. My emotion.
Kelli Russell 56:12
Kelli Russell 56:16
Yeah. So what I would like you to say is, I want to test two different statements out like, it’s in my best and highest good to let this person go. Or it’s in my best and highest good to hang on for a while. Let’s try that. So repeat after me and have your posture really erect. Your legs and arms crossed and your eyes looking down and say out loud, it’s in my best and highest good to let this person go now.
Then, my best and honest good to let this person go
Kelli Russell 56:55
now, let’s go best and highest good.
Oh, it’s in my best and highest good to let this person go now
Kelli Russell 57:04
that test strong. And I’ll say it’s in my best and highest good to maintain this relationship for a while.
It’s in my best and highest good to maintain this relationship for a while.
Kelli Russell 57:17
That also test strong. Yeah, let me let me check percentages there. Let’s see if that helps us at all. So to let it go. Higher than 50? No. Higher than 40. Yes. Higher than 45. No. 4041 42 42% Let it go. And let’s see how much percentage Keep it keep it for a while. More than 50 more than 60 more than 70 more than 80 more than 9100 Keep it for a while. Now who knows what a while means maybe in a week, you’re like Okay, I’m ready. Like fine or, or maybe the work that we did when we clear these trapped emotions. You might wake up with more clarity now and just go okay, I can clearly see and I no longer need that safety net. So I’m willing to let that go now. Yeah. Do you feel like there’s any action step that you feel called to take
towards this one situation?
Kelli Russell 58:35
Just anything that came out of us talking together today? It may be as simple as doing a meditation calling in your partner like putting out that beacon like okay universe. I’m ready. This is what I’m looking for. Please send this person
is actually thinking about using that tactic and my tarot cards. Okay. Strangely, yeah. Or I’m really big into animal like spirit animals. Uh huh. Trying to figure that out somehow a guide died I’m not sure Well, yeah,
Kelli Russell 59:16
what tell me more about that what would be a question or what would be what might be an answer that you could receive within the spirit animal world?
present and what they
Kelli Russell 59:37
do you have a deck of animal cards?
I actually don’t. Okay. No, I’ve been wanting to get I’ve used Reiki in the past to like, channel that in.
Kelli Russell 59:56
channeling the answer of the spirit animal
Yeah, like knowing your core.
Kelli Russell 1:00:07
Okay, if you’re familiar with the Tarot, by the way, can you pronounce it correctly? Is it Tarot?
I think it’s either
Kelli Russell 1:00:17
Oh, if you’re familiar with using cards, it would maybe be interesting for you to get some spirit animal deck, it would be and then you can pull cards in relationship to a question like that, like, what you most need to call in within yourself, perhaps what the nature of your partner might be, and how those energies might flow together, you’ll be able to ask them specific questions and do a reading that would probably be really interesting. It would be Yeah, so that might be an option for you. Plus, it would be fun. Okay, so definitely something with Tarot, and then maybe something either using Reiki or seeing if you can get a deck and working within the deck. Anything else you feel called to do?
Now at this time, okay?
Kelli Russell 1:01:18
With the Emotion Code sessions, sometimes a couple days after or like within a two day period, you might feel increased energy, or you might feel decreased energy, like you need a nap. You might have vivid dreams for a couple of nights. And you may feel a little bit emotionally tender. 80% of people don’t feel any of those symptoms, they just feel light and free. And then most of those people that do feel one or more of those symptoms, it clears up within two days. And then you feel light and free. So that’s my desire for you. But I want you to know that those are potentials just in case you experience something and you’re like, Whoa, I feel low energy or like, Whoa, I feel really hyper, what’s going on? Thank you. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for being on this episode. And I hope that I know that actually, there are a lot of people that can relate to where you’re at, especially in a hard time of COVID where it’s challenging to meet people. And you know, sometimes you just keep running across the same people on the websites, and you’re like, Oh, nothing seems to be coming in in the right way. And like, will I ever find somebody, even though you’re 50 more years probably left in your life, you’re like, oh, it’s probably not going to happen. You know, the likelihood is, it’s very likely that it’s going to happen maybe even multiple times. So staying on the positive, informing your system of what you want it to be, so that your body goes Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. That’s a possibility. Of course. That’s going to happen. Heck, yeah. Yeah. So others I know are going to relate to you sharing your story. And thank you so much for being vulnerable and for being honest and for talking with me today.
Thank you, Kelli. All right. Well,
Kelli Russell 1:03:11
I’m going to say goodbye. Bye, everybody.