THE ART OF LETTING GO – A 5 STEP PROCESS
Someone’s wronged you in some way. You’re hurt. Mad, sad, resentful, shocked, pissed-off -you name it. You may be looking at all the ways the situation sucks. You may be stuck in looping thoughts about it. You may have analyzed it a million ways in your head and came to the conclusion that, “Okay, I have conscious awareness about this now, but it’s going to take me years to really get over this.”
Well, I’m here to tell you that YOU CAN DECIDE to release something. There is an art to it though – and I’ll teach you the brush strokes. It’s a 5 Part process.
Step 1: Observe Your Inner Dialogue
It starts by hearing a thought like:
“I can’t believe that person wronged me like that! How dare they do that to me!”
Step 2: Identify the Trigger
When you have some space in your day, a quiet time without distractions, ask yourself:
“Hmmm, I wonder what button they pushed within me?” What highly emotionally charged event from my past does this remind me of?” and “What is the earliest memory I have of something like this occurring?”
Step 3: Look at Your Part in its Co-Creation
This one is uncomfortable because we don’t often want to look at it:
What’s my part in co-creating this?
Step 4: Go Deeper
Look for any knowledge you can gain from the experience which can save you from discomfort like this in the future.
Sit on the floor, cross-legged with eyes closed. A mini-meditation.
Ask your highest self – your wisdom self:
“What do I need to see?”
“What do I need to hear?”
“What do I need to know?”
Just be receptive and listen to see if any thoughts, images, symbols, even a song comes into your field of awareness. If nothing appears now, the answers may arrive in the next few days, usually while you’re in a flow state not paying attention to it.
Finally ask:
“Is there any action that I would like to take (that’s in my best and highest good)?”
and
What would I like to do next time something like this comes up, if anything?”
Step 5: The Release
Holding on to this resentment/anger/stress is like putting bags of rocks into a backpack and carrying it around every day. The other person might not even care anymore, but here you are carrying the load, feeling miserable. Even if these negative feelings start to sink under the surface, they are still there, ready to cause a myriad of symptoms if left unaddressed.
So here’s how you’re going to release it……
Think to yourself, “Maybe I can just choose to let this go…”
Wait a few moments. Now think, “I’m pretty sure that I can just let this go…”
Wait a few more moments and think, “I think I’m going to just let this go!”
Wait a few more moments. Think, “It’s really not doing me any good. I think I can just let this go!”
Wait a few more moments. Think, “I’m going to do it, I’m just going to let it go!”
Wait a few more moments and think, “Holy sh!t! I think I just let that go!”
Wait a few moments and think, “Ohhh my gosh…… I DID!!!! I just let that go!!!”
Now rejoice with an internal fist bump that you just let that big bag of rocks go! After identifying the trigger, seeking out any knowledge from the experience, and deciding if any action is necessary, it becomes a choice. A true choice. You can let it eat you up inside and bring it up over and over making yourself miserable, OR you can choose to take what you need from it and freaking let it go. Truly. You are the only one with the power to do this!
A note to your future self: If you notice the old habit of wanting to bring it up again, don’t!, because every time you do, you just put another rock into that now-empty backpack!
Remember, YOU GOT THIS!
