What to Say When Someone Tries to Decide For You
Let us say right off the bat that this is not about sociopathic, narcissistic people who try to control you. We’re talking about friends and family members who tell you that you “SHOULD”, “OUGHT TO”, or “HAVE TO” have a certain job, dress a certain way, act a certain way, marry a certain person, do this certain thing.
Everyone is living their first-person video game of life that is hyper-personal. Two people experiencing the same situation tune in to different things, have different reactions and form different beliefs about the world from it.
Other people apply their beliefs/interests/likes/dislikes/warnings onto others because it would be the best thing to do according to THEM.
What they CAN’T do though, is tell YOU what is the best thing for YOU to do because ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT! And you knowing what to do can only come from you living your life. It’s up to you to decide what you like, how you want to act, dress, show up, what you want to do, and how you want to be.
But we can see that in most cases from their perspective they are doing their best to try to keep you safe and successful so that you will have a good life. So maybe we can let them off the hook for trying to control your life.
Here’s some language you might use when friends or family members pressure you to do something.
“I really do appreciate your advice/opinion/perspective. I know that you want what is best for me. However, I truly feel that I am most aligned with ___________ (fill in the blank) and must explore this option, otherwise, I may have regrets for the rest of my life.”
(If it’s for a smaller decision, leave out the “regrets for the rest of my life” part. Hehe. Anyway, you get the picture!)
So for your health, happiness, and the quality of your life – be true to yourself! (Not your ego-self, but the true, energetic core of you.) We have never heard someone say that they were true to the inner calling of their true self and regretted it. They usually say,